My Personal Search For A Meaningful Existence :: essays research papers

My Personal Search for a Meaningful ExistenceI am the representative embodiment of my nihilistic culture. I am narcissistic, insatiable, petty, apathetic and I am above all an emotionalinvalid. Yet, up until very recently, I was not sensiblely aware that I wasguilty of having any of these wholly pejorative attributes, because I hadunconsciously suppressed my inherent will to attain a meaningful existence, infavor of the comfort and security that complacency and futility provide. Thereexists in me a void, that is not uncommon to find in the members of myEurocentric society, which is derived from the conscious or unconsciousknowledge that our culture is entirely devoid of meaning. This is, morespecifically, the plight of my generation, which has been defined by itsdisillusionment, apathy and inaction, rather than its accomplishments, beliefsor ideologies. Escapism is the guard mechanism that enables our flight fromactuality, and subsequently our ability to exist, because we maintai n been cursedwith a wealth of advantages and a lack of restrictions. For example I am freeto take my own religion, I am not stifled by or subjected to economicdisadvantage, I am not bound to subservience by an oppressive or tyrannicalgovernment, I am blessed with a myriad of conveniences by my technologicallyadvanced society, and I come from a nurturing and accessory family, so who thehell am I to complain about my circumstances. The still explanation I can give,in retort to my profession that I have been cursed by my inherent advantages,is since my life is completely devoid of any profound suffering, it issubsequently lacking any meaningful happiness, because man only experiencesthese feelings in terms of their relative relationship to one another. Thus, Ivainly invent my own wholly unfounded reasons to bemoan my existence, in thesame way that a hypochondriac invents his psychosomatic illnesses, because thelonger we feign to have a justifiable cue for suffering, the more that t hatsuffering actualizes itself. The primary source of my anxieties is derived fromthe inherent knowledge that I am condemned to be free, in a society ofrelatively few restrictions, which subsequently requires me to be the master ofmy own destiny. Thus, I am not only culpable for determining my own fate, but Iam also wholly responsible for finding a meaningful purpose in my existence,which instills me with an terrific feeling of trepidation, because Im not sureIm ready to shoulder such a profound responsibility. I live in a nihilisticsociety, that is founded on mans narcissistic will to pleasure and power, that